A Terrible
Place!
When Sara was 2 years old, I read her the first 100 lines of Milton's "Paradise
Lost," just to see what response, if any, she would have. She quickly picked
up on the phrase, "fiery gulf," Milton's poetic figure for Hell, and asked
me what it meant. I said, "Well, the fiery gulf is a terrible place. It's
where the devil lives, and we don't ever want to go there." Several weeks
later, at the dinner table, Sara's mother mentioned to me that our pastor
had played 18 holes of golf that day. Sara's eyes grew wide and said, "Daddy!
Golf is a terrible place!"
-- Michael Huggins
Your
what?
Chad, 2, was sitting on his Grandma's lap at the steering wheel of the car
pretending he was driving. "Where would you like to go, Grandma?" He asked.
She replied, "Miami." He, in turn, asked, "Where is Yourami?" -- Clo DiPilato,
Va.
A toast!
My son was 4 years old when my daughter was born. At the hospital, before
taking him home, my husband said to him, "When we get home we're gonna have
a toast." My son's reply was, "Okay, Daddy, but I want butter on mine." --
sbenhesde@ aol.com
Alpha-confused
My sister was a first grader as she sat at the dining room table very solemnly
and quietly practicing writing her letters. She seemed to be doing just fine,
but then we realized she was having some trouble when she looked up at my
Dad, and very seriously asked, "How do I make an 'elameno'?" (LMNO)? --
Clo DiPilato, Va.
'Shut-up Dogs'
One night I was babysitting my two grandchildren. We were out running errands
and we decided to grab a bite to eat at home. Of course they wanted McDonalds
which I don't care for, so I also stopped at a fish place to pick me up a
dinner. When we sat down to eat, the kids asked "what are those round things
Nanna?" I said they are called "Hush Puppies". So I gave them the hush puppies
to eat from my meal. Later, when their mom arrived home, Cody ran to meet
mom. She asked him what they had been doing. His response was " We ate McDonalds
and "Shut Up Dogs!" LYONSJANICE@ aol.com
My friend's family was making a long distance road trip. Her younger sister
had an impressive rock collection. You can imagine her excitement when she
saw a sign that said, "Sidewalk Sale." She piped up and said, "Stop the car,
Daddy, I want to buy a piece of sidewalk for my rock collection." -- Clo
DiPilato, Va.
Get the picture? One
day my five year old informed me that she didn't have to go to school to
learn, because she could remember everything by talking a picture. She
said she had a camera in her head she takes pictures with it to help
her remember things. So I asked, "Then how is it you always seem to forget
about picking up your toys?" She replied, "Sometimes I forget to put film
in it." -- Vicky Barrons
Making Clouds
My husband works for a steel mill and my girlfriend and her four yr. old
were driving by and she told her that Josh's daddy works there." She asked
what they did there and my friend said "make steel." Well, she then said,
"look at the smoke coming out of the chimney." My girlfriend just said that
was neat. But then came a sound of surprise and the little girl said-"I know
what Josh's daddy does-he makes clouds!!!!" -- Monika Remender, Ladoga,
Indiana
No feed the
zebras!
When Talita was 3, I took her on a trip to Texas to visit her grandparents.
While there we also visited a drive-thru safari-zoo. There were several signs
advising us not to feed the zebras, that they bite, etc. Back in Brazil,
some months later, I was trying to teach her to read with an ABC book. She
was pretty good at "reading" the alphabet and the words that had a picture
illustration. The last page was Z-Zebra. A small rabbit at the bottom of
the page was holding up a The-End sign. I pointed to the sign, asking, "And
what does that say?" She quickly replied, "No feed the zebras!" -- Holly
Lykins, Missionary in Brazil
Trash the money?
One day my mom had her grandson in church. During the collection my mom gave
Jamie some money to put in the 'BASKET" as she called it. Jamie looked at
her with eyes wide and exclaimed "In the garbage, Grandma?" --
PATBA2000@ aol.com
A Toy What?
My nephew Alan who was 3 at the time, was being driven by his mother to
pre-school. In front of them drove a Toyota and Alan just starting to make
out the letters said "Look mommy an 'A' for Alan." "Yes" said mommy feeling
really proud "it says 'Toy-o-ta'." Alan sat thinking for a while and then
piped up "Mommy do you think they will keep it until it is a real ota?" --
Cathy van Vollenstee, South Africa
'The Foot Dad'
When my daughter remarried she explained to her son Cody that her new husband
was not his real dad, but his step dad. Cody's friend Kyle came over to play
and Cody said, "Kyle, I have something very important to tell you. Dennis
is not my real dad. Instead he's my "foot dad." -- LYONSJANICE@ aol.com
Bed Time
One evening my then 2-and-a-half-year-old daughter wanted my mother to sit
down on her toddler bed with her. My mother, being a little heavy, told her,
"Baby, I don't think the bed will hold me." My daughter thought about this
for a second and looked up at my mother and in all seriousness said to her,
"Silly, the bed does not have arms." We still laugh so hard about that to
this day and she is almost 5. -- Aimee Spillers
Chicken dirt
When my son was 2 1/2, my husband and I both had a terrible case of the flu.
We could hardly get out of bed, so my little tot had pretty much free roam
of the house, which was baby proofed! He ran into the bedroom and I opened
my eyes to find him covered with white powder. "Honey, what did you get into?"
I asked. He replied in his cute little-boy voice, "I got into the fried
chicken dirt!" He batted his beautiful eyelashes the white powder covered.
I followed his lead into the kitchen. One glance at the floor and the puzzle
was solved. He had opened the pantry and discovered my
Pillsbury™ All Purpose Flour! --
Kay Rutledge
Her Wit's End
Walking home from kindergarten, my daughter, Rachel age 4, was filling me
in on her day. The highlight being a special treat - a cupcake from a birthday
party. Rachel went into full detail about the pink frosting and lovely sprinkles.
She saved it in her lunch box so she could show me when we got home. Just
then, I noticed from the window on top of the jogging stroller my three-year-old
devouring the cupcake paper and all. I interrupted Rachel, asking her to
stay calm. Immediately, Rachel tore open the Velcro cover to the stroller
and started to shake. Through gritted teeth she stated, "I'm trying to keep
my wits about me." To which her sister responded, "I liked the sprinkles
the best." Rachel then punched her, obviously past her wits end. -- Jenna
Richter Guam, U.S.A.
Relish the Thought
While we were walking my children would lag behind. In frustration, I yelled,
"Catch up!" They yelled back, "Mustard" and would run up to us. -- Ted
Wilder
Where the Sun Goes
I was pulling weeds in the front yard, when I noticed Brandon, 4, had both
of his little hands on his face, his eyes tightly closed. He was moving his
head about, as if pretending to look all around, but eyes still tightly closed
and covered. "What is it, Precious?" I asked. He turned his little face up
to me, without removing his hands from his eyes, and asked, "Mommy? Where
does the sun go when I close my eyes?" I replied, "Well, sweetie, the sun
is still there, even though you cannot see it. It never goes away!" It reminded
me of my own life somehow. When I am in a trial or wilderness, the light
seems nowhere to be found and seems like I walk in darkness. God sometimes
hides the sunshine to test our faith. We must remain steadfast, knowing He
is still there, even though the light may be hidden for a brief moment. Just
as surely as the sun faithfully rises every day, and even though it may be
hidden by clouds, so His presence may be hidden. Praise His name for His
faithfulness!
-- Kay Rutledge
Picnic in the park
At our annual family picnic, my nephew found a salamander in the creek and,
quite proud of his catch, brought it over to the adults setting up lunch.
After we all ooo'd and ah'd about his finding, by brother-in-law told him
it was time to eat and to go put the salamander back where he had found it.
My nephew said he wanted to keep it as a pet. They went back and forth about
this for several minutes, when my brother-in-law said, "How would you feel
if someone snatched you out of your home and took you away? This salamander
needs to go back to his home." Dan looked at his dad, perplexed,
then looked at that salamander down in the cup he was holding, then
looked back at his dad. He then replied (in his you-can't-be-serious voice),
"Dad, are you trying to tell me this little salamander could pick me up and
carry me back to his home? I don't think so!" -- Jenny Evans, Nashville,
Tenn.
Pony to Lawnmower
We had purchased quite a few acres of land and needed a riding mower to keep
it cleared. My husband told the grandchildren he'd buy them a pony. Our 5-year-old
grandson, Daniel, decided it was to be only his pony, though we kept telling
him it wouldn't be fair to the others. Agitated, I said to him, "What do
you think the other kids will do if the pony belongs only to you?'' Without
any hesitation at all, he answered, "Let them ride the lawn mower!" --
Bardoe2 @aol.com
En Route to Bethlehem
While stationed in Germany with the USAF, we didn't have a car, so we would
walk, and take the Strassenban (subway system). As usual, we Americans would
say, "I'm going to strass to work" -- meaning, we would take the train to
work. One day while "strassing" home from church, my children were at the
train stop re-enacting the Christmas story. I heard one of them say, "Let
us strass into Bethlehem and see this great sight that the angel told us
about..." -- Ted Wilder
Innocence, Influence and
Violence
I'll never forget the day I observed, firsthand, the effects of violence
and the media upon the young mind. I was in the kitchen washing dishes,
and the TV was babysitting my 1-year-old in the next room. Suddenly, I heard
such horrible screams of terror. I flew around the
corner, fully expecting to find a truly gory scene -- a gouged-out
eye, a compound fracture. Though there appeared to be no obvious
sign of injury, my son could not be comforted. Had he fallen? cracked
his skull? I held him tightly. With his severely limited vocabulary, my
1-year-old explained, in the best way he could, the cause of his
alarm: Pointing to the TV screen -- where a car had just crashed --
and still shaking from the shock, he screamed, perhaps a dozen times: "Ouch
vvrooom! ouch vvrooom!" Not many months later, of course, my son commonly
could be observed (as all preschoolers) sitting through many similar
episodes -- silent, unalarmed, and obviously desensitized. --
Diane Dew, Milw., Wis.
Just write a check
My 5-year-old grandson wanted something at the store. I explained to him
I had spent all my money. He said, "But Grandmom, you still have all those
checks in your checkbook." -- Patsy Dennis
Your Presence Here
At the close of a very touching passion play at a local church this past
Easter, the pastor said a few words to the congregation. "I want to thank
everyone for their presence here this evening," he said. Just then my 4-year-old
tugged on my sleeve and whistpered in my ear, "But mom, we didn't bring any
presents!"
--Rebecca Cleary, Kingsland, GA God
Talking?
We were in mass, it was the first time I took my son. He had just turned five. Everyone stood up, so he couldn't see what was happening up front, and the priest, who had a booming voice, began speaking into the microphone, so the sound was all around us. Just as the priest stopped
his first sentence, my son opened his eyes VERY wide and turned to me, terribly excited, and asked loudly, 'IS THAT GOD TALKING, MOMMY?!?!'
Everyone in the church fell silent and a little ripple of 'awwws' followed.
Meeting the Priest at the door while leaving, I explained that he was the one
talking. My son looked up at him and said, 'I think God is bigger than that, mommy.' The priest knelt down and explained that he wasn't God, but he helps God give messages to people. My son nodded, wide-eyed, and said, 'Next time you call him,
ask him to turn your voice down, okay?' The priest chuckled and patted him on the head and said he would do just that.
-- Andrea, MD
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