"All
the Lonely People," by America
 |
"In November, a landlord entered the Bonn, Germany
apartment of Wolfgang Dircks when rent invoices to Dircks' bank stopped being
paid. The landlord found a skeleton in a chair in front of a television set
(in the 'on' position but now out of order) and beside still-twinkling Christmas
lights and a TV program guide from Dec. 5, 1993. Since no one had seen Dircks
in years, authorities declared that to be his date of death." Loneliness
"Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for
me. |
Copyright
©
1996 by Diane S.
Dew
I. Admitting loneliness is not a negative confession but
an honest,
often humbling
expression of human need.
A. The desire for companionship
is a legitimate need.
1. God Himself recognized fellowship as a valid need.
Gen
2:18 "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for
the man to be alone...'"
2. Man
was created a social being, with the need for others.
1 Cor 12:21 "The eye cannot
say to the hand, 'I don't need you!' ..."
3. We need look no further than the Godhead (the Trinity) Himself,
in Whose
image we were created. Man was created a tripartite
being, with the capacity for
fellowship, even as the Spirit fellow-
ships with the Son, and the Son with
the Father.
B. The patriarch David,
a very spiritual man ("after Mine own heart"),
admitted feelings of loneliness and expressed
them through writing and
song, in his psalms
- to which millions have looked for comfort in time
of need.
Psa 25:16 "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely...."
Psa 102:7 "l lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof."
Psa 142:4
"Look to my right and see; no one is concerned
for me. I have
no refuge; no one
cares for my life."
II. We
can choose to take advantage of our time alone and embrace it with
a godly purpose, as His provision
for us. If we use it to spend time with
Him,
it can become a productive experience with positive results.
A. Time
alone should be embraced as an opportunity for uninterrupted
prayer.
1. Old age: widowhood.
1 Tim 5:5 "The widow who is
really in need and left all alone puts
her hope in God and
continues night and day to pray and to ask God
for
help."
2.
The life of Jesus.
Mk 1:35 "Very early in the morning,
while it was still dark Jesus
got up, left the house and
went off to a solitary place, where he prayed"
B. This
should be often - as a habit, not a last result; as the rule,
not
the
exception.
Luk 5:16 "But Jesus
often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."
C. It is
alone, in our place of deepest need, when we can turn to none
other, that God meets
us.
l. Spiritual blessing was imparted as the result of a
spiritual battle
fought
alone.
Gen 32:24 "So Jacob was
left alone, and a man wrestled with him
till daybreak."
2. Ministry
may require much time alone with God.
Exo 24:2
"... but Moses alone is to approach the Lord; the others
must not come near.
And the people may not come up with him."
Mk 1:45
"Jesus ... stayed outside in lonely places.
Yet the people
still came to him
from everywhere." [For
more on the solitude of Jesus,
see also Section III-A.]
3.
The Word of the Lord often is received alone, in the Presence of
God.
1 Ki 19:9,
11 [Elijah] "went into a cave and spent the
night. And
the word of the Lord
came to him.... The Lord said, 'Go out and stand
on
the mountain in the presence of the
Lord, for the Lord is about to
pass by."
4. Visions are usually imparted when the individual is
alone, as his spirit
is fully directed
and focused upon God.
Dan 10:8 "So I was left
alone, gazing at this great vision; I had no
strength left, my face
turned deathly pale..."
5.
Revelation is usually imparted while alone.
Mk 4:10, 34 "When he was alone,
the Twelve and the others
around him asked him
about the parables ..."
Luk 9:36 "When the voice had spoken,
they found that Jesus
was alone ... when they
came down from the mountain, a large crowd
met them."
III. To a degree, solitude is to
be sought. (There is a difference between
loneliness and aloneness.)
A. Jesus
found it a necessity; how much more should we?
Mat
14:13 "When Jesus heard what had happened, he
withdrew by
boat privately to a
solitary place ..."
Mat
14:23 "After he had dismissed them, he went
up on a
mountainside by himself to pray.
When evening came, he was there
alone."
Mk
1:35 "Very early in the morning, while it was
still dark, Jesus
got up, left the house and
went off to a solitary place, where he
prayed."
Mk
1:45 "Jesus could no longer enter a town openly
but stayed
outside in lonely places.
Yet the people still
came to him from
everywhere."
Luk 4:42 "At daybreak Jesus went out to a solitary place..."
Luk 5:16 "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed."
Jn 6:15 "Jesus, knowing that they
intended to come and make him
king by force, withdrew
again to a mountain by himself ..."
B. For
those whose ministry is very demanding, it can take an effort to
find
time alone to meet with God.
1. Jesus often had to evade the crowds.
Mat 14:13 "When Jesus ... withdrew
... to a solitary place.. . the
crowds followed him on
foot from the towns."
Mk 7:24 "Jesus... entered a house and did not want anyone to know it....."
Luk 4:42
"At daybreak Jesus went out to a solitary place.
The people
were looking for
him and when they
came to where he was, they tried to
keep him from
leaving them."
2.
His disciples faced similar obstacles, struggling to balance the
demands
of ministry with
their own need for solitude.
Mk 6:30-32 "The apostles
gathered around Jesus and reported to
him all they had done
and taught. Then, because so many people were
coming and going that
they did not even have a chance to eat, he
said
to them, 'Come with me
by yourselves to a quiet place and get
some rest.'
So they went away by
themselves in a boat to a solitary place."
IV. The causes of loneliness and
rejection may vary.
A. Physical disease.
Lev 13:46 "As long as he has the infection
he .... must live alone;
he must live outside the
camp."
B.
Circumstantial difficulties - widowhood, childlessness, death
of a loved
one,
family breakdown,
etc.
1 Sam 1:2 "... Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none."
Job 29:12 "
... the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless
who had none to assist him."
Psa
27:10 "Though my father and mother forsake me,
the Lord will
receive me."
Eccl
4:8 "There was a man all alone; he had neither
son nor brother.
There was no end to his
toil ... 'For whom am I toiling,' he asked ...
This too is meaningless ..."
1 Tim 5:5
"The widow who is really in need and left all
alone puts
her hope in God and
continues night and day to pray and to ask God
for help."
C.
The hand of God. (Sometimes it is God who has set us aside: "for
himself.")
Psa 4:3
"Know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself;
the Lord will hear when I
call to him."
D.
Rejection and misunderstanding in ministry.
1. The prophet Jeremiah "sat
alone" as a result of the critical message
God gave him
to deliver.
Jer 15:17 "I never sat in the company of revelers,
never made merry
with them; I sat
alone because your
hand was on me and you had
filled me with indignation."
2. The prophet Elijah felt so alone, he wanted to die.
1 Ki 19:3-5,
10, 14
3. Paul was deserted by his
coworkers in the gospel.
Acts 15:38 "But Paul did not think
it wise to take him, because he
had deserted them in
Pamphylia and had not continued with them
in the work."
2
Tim 1:15 "You know that everyone in the province
of Asia has
deserted me ..."
2
Tim 4:10 "For Demas, because he loved this world,
has deserted
me and has gone to
Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia,
and Titus to Dalmatia."
2
Tim 4:16 "At my first defense, no one came to
my support, but
everyone deserted
me..."
4. Jesus was "despised and rejected of men."
Isa 53:3
a. The same crowd that one day "listened to him with delight"
(Mk 12:37)
later "deserted him and fled" (Mk 14:50,
cp.
Mat 26:56).
b. Throughout his ministry and, ultimately, on the cross,
He
experienced absolute aloneness
and rejection, even from
those closest to Him.
Psa 69:20
"Scorn has broken my heart and has left me
helpless;
I looked for sympathy, but there
was none, for
comforters, but I found none."
Mk
14:54 "Peter followed him at a distance..."
[and later
denied him: vv. 67, 71]
Jn 8:59 "...they
picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus
hid himself, slipping away ..."
Jn
16:32;
1 Peter 2:4
"...rejected by men but chosen by God ..."
5.
Believers can expect rejection by family and friends for their
convictions
regarding the gospel message.
Mat 19:19
"And everyone who has left houses or brothers
or sisters
or father or mother or children
or fields for my sake
will receive a hundred times as
much and will inherit eternal life."
Luk 6:22
"Blessed are you when men hate you, when
they
exclude you
and insult you and
reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man."
Jn 4:44
"Now Jesus himself had pointed out that a prophet
has
no honor in his
own country.
V. God has a solution for loneliness.
A. Draw near to God. (Scripture provides us with
several spiritual
consolations.)
1. We are never truly alone.
Deut 31:6, 8 "Be strong and courageous...
The Lord himself ... will be
with you; he will
never leave you nor forsake you..."
Psa
22:1, 11, 16 "... My God, my God, why have you
forsaken me?
Why are you so far
from saving
me, so far from the words of my
groaning? ... Do not be
far from me,
for trouble is near and there is no
one to help...."
Jn 8:16, 29
"... I am not alone.... The one who sent me
is with me; he
has not left
me alone ..."
Jn 16:32
"But a time is coming, and has come, when you
will be
scattered,each to his own
home. You will
leave me all alone. Yet I am
not
alone, for my Father is with me."
Josh 1:5
"... As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never
leave you nor forsake
you."
Jas 4:4 "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you."
Heb 13:5
"... God has said, 'Never will I leave you;
never will
I forsake you."
2. God sees;
He knows.
2 Ki
14:26 "The Lord had seen how bitterly everyone
in Israel ...
was
suffering; there was
no one to
help them."
3. God cares.
Psa 34:18; 55:22; 103:13
Psa
72:12 "For he will deliver the needy who cry
out, the afflicted who
have no one to
help."
Isa
41:17 "The poor and needy search ... But I the
Lord will answer them;
I, the God of
Israel, will
not forsake them."
Isa 42:16 "I will lead the blind by ways
they have not known, along
unfamiliar paths I will
guide them; I will
turn the darkness into light before
them
and make the rough
places smooth...
I will not forsake them."
Isa
49:13-16 "... the Lord comforts his people and
will have compassion
on his afflicted
ones.
But Zion
said, 'The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord
has
forgotten me.' Can
a mother
forget the baby at her breast and have no
compassion
on the child she
as borne? Though she may forget, I will not
forget you!'...
1 Pet 5:7 "... Cast all your cares upon Him, because He cares for you."
4. God alone can meet our deepest needs.
Psa 62:1
"... My soul finds rest in God alone..."
5. Jesus understands. (See Section
IV-D4.)
Heb 2:18; Mk 15:34
B. God's answer may be practical.
1.
Family.
Psa 68:6 "God sets the lonely in families..."
2. Marriage.
Gen 2:18 "The Lord
God said, 'It is not good for the man to be
alone.
I will make a helper
suitable for
him."
Gen 24:67
"Isaac ... married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and
he loved
her; and Isaac
was comforted after
his mother's death."
3. Friendship.
Eccl 4:10
"If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the
man who falls and as
no one to
help him up!"
4. Ministry.
2 Corin
7:6 "But God, who
comforts the downcast, comforted us by
the coming of
Titus."
2 Corin 1:3-7
VI. The effects of loneliness.
What we do when alone
can have an eternal effect upon our life and the
lives
of others -
either positive or negative, depending on our
degree of
self-discipline and the response
of our spirit.
A.
Negative experiences can yield positive results.
1. If the agony
of loneliness drives us to seek God, to search for Him
in the
Word, etc., we
will find an inner strength upon which others
will be able
to
draw.
2
Corin 1:3-7 "We can comfort others with the
comfort wherewith
we are comforted of
God"
2. David expressed his feelings
of loneliness in song and poetry - which
have
blessed
multitudes for centuries. Psa 25:16; 102:7; 142:4
3. The failure of others to meet our needs can emphasize our
need for
dependence
upon God alone - essential for any successful ministry.
Mat 14:23 "After
he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside
by himself to
pray. When
evening came, he was there alone."
4. If, in our
place of need, we direct our heart toward God and focus
on
the needs
of others rather than self, we may find a special place
of ministry
in it
Intercessory prayer,
for example, requires much time
alone. Ezek
22:30
B. However, not all solitude
yields a positive spiritual impact.
1. If we are driven
to solitude, the source may be demonic.
Luk
8:29 "For Jesus had commanded the evil spirit
to come out of the
man. Many times it had
seized him, and
though he was chained hand and
foot and
kept under guard, he
had broken his chains and had been driven
by the demon into solitary
places."
2. Loneliness can lead to suicidal thoughts,
even for the most spiritual
of men.
a. Job felt so misunderstood
and rejected by his friends, he wanted
to die.
Job 7:16
"I despise my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone;
my days have no
meaning."
b. Elijah felt so alone he wanted to die.
1 Ki 19:3-5
"Elijah was afraid and ran for his life ...
he himself went
a day's journey into
the desert.
He came to a broom tree, sat down
under it and prayed that he
might die. 'I
have had enough, Lord,' he
said. 'Take my life; I am no
better than my
ancestors.'"
c. Because of
his isolation, Jeremiah said he wished he had never been
born.
Jer
15:17 "I never sat in the company of revelers,
never
made merry with them; I sat
alone
because your hand
was on me..."
Jer 20:14-18
"Cursed be the day I was born! May the day
my mother bore me not be
blessed! Cursed
be the man who
brought
my father the news, who
made him
very glad, saying,
'A child is born to you -
a son!' ... For he did not kill me
in the
womb, with my mother as my
grave, her womb enlarged forever.
Why did I
ever come out of the womb to see trouble and
sorrow
and to
end my days in
shame?"
d. The psalmist expressed
similar thoughts.
3. Loneliness can drain
us of all incentive, if we allow it to warp our
perspective
and purpose for being.
Eccl 4:8 "There
was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother.
There was
no end to
his toil ... 'For whom am I toiling,' he asked, 'and why
am I
depriving
myself of enjoyment?' This too is meaningless
- a miserable
business!"
4. Spending too much time alone,
with our "self," can throw us off balance.
(It is
unnatural; man is a social being.) Evidence
of this can be seen in
self-centeredness,
self-pity, etc.
5. It
takes an inner determination and discipline of spirit to take the
reins of
our
mind, speak to
our situation, and choose to praise God. Note the
repetitive
commands of the
psalmist to direct his heart toward God.
Psa 42:5, 6, 11; 43:5
6. Satan
offers many substitutes for temporary relief from the pain of
loneliness
- alcohol,
drugs, illicit sex, etc.
VII.
For some, loneliness and rejection may be a lifetime cross to bear.
To a
degree, it is part of the suffering promised every
believer.
Mat 16:24;
9:29
Luk 6:22
"Blessed are you when men ... exclude you and
insult you ..."
Luk 9:23; 10:16; Jn 4:44
VIII. Thinking we
are independent of others and in need of no one is
not a commendable trait, but evidence of a deeper spiritual
problem.
A. It may be the result
of spiritual or personal pride.
B. An
unwillingness to answer to anyone may stem from a root
of rebellion.
C. A
desire to remain anonymous may be motivated by a guilty
conscience - not
wanting
hidden sin to be discovered.
D. It is a deception
of the enemy, to get us away from the rest of the flock
so he can destroy us. Apart from the church, we will lack
the provisions
necessary for spiritual survival:
teaching, discipline, communal worship
and
prayer, opportunities to serve others, etc.
1 Corin
12:21 "The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't
need you.'"
Rom 14:19; Gal 6:2; Heb 10:24-26; Jas
5:16; 1 Thes 2:11, 12a
Copyright © 1996 by Diane
S. Dew.
Scripture quotations taken from the New International Version.
............... |
"... He that followeth after Me shall not walk in
darkness, |
Lonely? Visit The Lighthouse Christian chat room
Saturdays 7-9 pm EDT
Comments?
Diane Dew
Diane |
Home Street Home
The true story of how faith in God can carry us through
every situation in life, including unemployment, poverty, rejection of family
and friends, even homelessness. "The poor will always be with you,"
Jesus said. He himself was born in a barn, had no where to lay his head and,
even in death, was buried in a borrowed tomb. Peter said, "Silver and gold
have I none, but such as I have give I thee..." Jesus fed the hungry before
he preached to them. This story should challenge the church to "awaken" from
spiritual slumber and minister to the needy, the stranger, the widow and
the orphan. Cover story, Moody magazine, Feb. 1990.
|
|
Other studies in this series available from:
D S Dew, P O Box 340945, Milwaukee, WI 53234 |
Misc. Facts on Loneliness:
If you feel lonely, you are not alone! Over 23.6 million people in the U.S. live alone, according to US Census Bureau figures. (38% are elderly.) In 1950, 10% of households consisted of just one person. In 1994, this number has increased to 24%.
It was God (not a complaining Adam) who declared, "It is not good for the man to be alone..." And that was before the fall!
Loneliness has long been the topic of poetry and song, whether rock, country, etc. From Janis Joplin's "All is Loneliness" to Yoko Ono's "Loneliness" (below), the inner cry of the spirit is for fellowship. "No man is an island."
| Loneliness (Yoko Ono)
There are many things in life I can endure
How could I stand loneliness, loneliness |
All is Loneliness (Janis Joplin)
Every day when I walk home
There ain't no hideaway from here, man ... |
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_____________________________________________________________________
© Copyright 1998 Diane S.
Dew
All Rights Reserved
Email: Diane@dianedew.com
Diane Dew o PO Box 340945
o Milw WI 53234
